This week marked another tragedy in the U.S. schools when a
17-year-old student in
Nebraska fatally shot his school’s assistant principal and wounded the
principal before taking his own life. Apparently the young man had posted a rant
on Facebook the morning of the shooting warning of the “evil” things he did
and blamed the school for leading him to violence. It seems that more and more
we are hearing about American youth in crisis who take their own lives or the
lives of others. Last October, MSNBC reported on a surge in teen
suicides due to anti-gay harassment. Phoebe
Prince took her life last year after fellow students tormented her with
bullying text messages and Facebook posts. Eleven-year-old Carl
Joseph Walker-Hoover hanged himself after kids at school teased him
relentlessly calling him “gay.” His mother pleaded with the school to intervene,
but no action was taken. It’s truly heartbreaking to see teens in crisis turn
to violence against themselves or others.
What Does Bullying Look Like?
The U.S. has some pretty alarming statistics
on bullying. Thirty percent of students in grades 6-10 are involved in
bullying, on either side, and on playgrounds a child is bullied every seven
minutes with virtually no intervention. In fact peers intervene more than
adults do at a rate of 11% over 4%. Pacer Teens Against Bullying
has a fantastic website geared towards teens to help them identify and respond
to bullying. While the look and feel of the site is for a teen audience, the
content is helpful for parents to better understand bullying and how to help
their kids with it. Stop
Bullying Now uses a cast of animated characters in a series of webisodes
and games to help kids better understand bullying and how to handle it. This
site is geared more towards kids and tweens. There is also a section for
parents with resources on awareness, intervention and prevention. The section
of tip
sheets has information for any adult who interacts with kids from parents
to teachers to law enforcement.
With the surge in social media and the popularity of text
messaging, a whole new world of bullying has opened up called cyberbullying. As
in the case of Phoebe Prince classmates used technology to bully the young
teen. Threatening messages, taunting, and even something called sexting where
sexual images and messages are sent via cell phones or other media are all
forms of cyberbullying. Be Web Aware
is a great resource to learn about what your kids do online. In addition to
defining the technology and the challenges associated with it, this site offers
safety tips by age and an e-Parenting
Tutorial to become more cyber-savvy. Web
Wise Kids offers a series of detective-style games to help your kids learn
about Internet safety as well as a report
on putting an end to cyberbullying with information on how to purchase their
cyberbullying prevention and response kit. Finally, NetSmartz from the National Center for
Missing and Exploited Children provides tips and information in a workshop
format for kids, tweens, teens, parents, educators and law enforcement with the
goal of keeping kids safe both on- and offline.
How Can We Help?
Identifying and naming the problem seems to be the first
step. No longer can the excuse of “it’s just kids being kids” suffice when the
stakes are so high. Rachel Simmons
is an author, educator and coach who has taken the subject of girl bullying to
new levels. Before Simmons’ research that led to her acclaimed book, Odd Girl
Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls (if you have a daughter then
this is a must-read), there was virtually no information on female bullying or psychological aggression in girls,
which typically is very different from male bullying. Simmons’ site has some
terrific blog entries and videos about bullying and how parents can effectively
work with their kids and the schools to intervene.
Challenge Day is
an incredibly powerful program that helps kids break boundaries, stereotypes,
and walls that cause intolerance and indifference so that all children can grow
up in a world where they feel safe and loved. The videos on this site that
capture the resulting transformations that occur at Challenge Days are
incredibly moving and you can find out how to bring Challenge Day to your child’s
school. Kids at Hope is another
program that can be brought into schools and youth organizations to help kids
overcome anger and aggression through the concept that every child is capable
of success without exception.
STRYVE from the Centers
for Disease Control and Prevention has a goal of reducing youth violence in all
of its forms from bullying to gang activity. The site has some helpful online
tutorials for adults and information on prevention. To keep kids safe from
being a target of violence or from committing acts of violence, the United
States Department of Justice Office of Justice Programs has a good list of resources to curb
youth violence.
